Jem and the Holograms, 2015 Film

So, this is quite late. I’ve heard things about this film. I finally decided to go watch it. First up, my experience with Jem and the Holograms, not much. I’ve watched a few episodes of the cartoon back in the day, but not much. I pretty much remember nothing about them other than that they are a band. So I will be going into this movie knowing pretty much nothing about them.

There will be spoilers throughout this. If you haven’t seen this yet? Eh. I doubt you will.

While this film has things I like, such as fluffy, slice of life style stories, it’s way too fluffy. I’ll get to that a bit later. Let’s start with the characters. The band consists of Jem, Kimber (younger sister), Aja and Shana. They were alright. Nothing particularly bad. Aja had some fun moments. Shana was kinda there. And both of them didn’t really help much through the movie at all.

Kimber had some more moments, especially talking with Jem, but she is seriously shafted when it comes to bonding with her father. I mean, she was born and not a baby, yet their father hardly mentions her. It’s always Jem being super awesome and filled with potential. As for Jem, she feels kinda generic for the most part.

The supporting cast is fine. Nothing spectacular, or really memorable. This really has more to do with the movie than any of the actors, though.

So what is off about Jem? Nothing is really earned. There’s no real emotional depth. This is a really fluffy movie. I’ve felt more emotion watching DCOMs. For those that don’t know, that’s Disney Channel Original Movies. They aren’t the fantastic films Disney puts out in theaters. They are those straight to video type things that are made on the cheap. Yet those movies have better character growth and emotions than Jem!

Jem has one music video put on the internet, and yet somehow that gets her a record deal. Of course, the record label girl is sleezy and just wants manufactured pop stars. I always find it really ironic when the movie industry rails on manufactured stuff. It’s just awkward.

Along the way, Jem has some adventure to fix Synergy, the robot her father made before he passed away.

And the entire action part of the movie, the heist, is ridiculous. Jem needs to break into Starlight Records to get her earrings back that the record label lady took. First off, the record label lady took them for no reason. They weren’t known to be valuable at all, yet they are apparently stored in the super secret safe. This still does not necessitate a heist! Jem is one of Starlight Record’s artist. She is with the son of the owner! Just walk in during daytime and ask for it.

In the end the quest to fix Synergy was just for some home movies. Nice, but not shattering. This movie just sort of goes along doing the easiest things and never really challenging the characters. Even the friendship breakup of the band lasted for all of 5 minutes.

And the movie tries to make itself seem far too grandiose with all those inspiring messages from fan videos or something. It’s not, by far, unfortunately.

And at the end, they showed a potential for a cool movie with the introduction of the Misfits! Too bad that’s not going to happen now. The songs were alright.

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