Feast of the End 3, Character Notes 4

Welcome to the fourth installment of character notes! The next part will be about high-level Sorcnon officials.

Anyway, the characters I’ll be looking at this time are King Arveil Eaglus, Advisor Hilvan Aruum and the Citacron. There will be spoilers.

First up is Hilvan Aruum. I really wanted to make him more of a presence within the story, but I found it hard to tie into Selaf’s tale. He would have been the main antagonist of Book 2 if book two followed Hallas.

As it was, I tried to give him presence by having him be the one to give a speech in Thalliance and by having Hallas point to him as the main cause of the war. I wanted to give a bit of hope that the King might be more reasonable. Overall, I’m a bit sad that he wasn’t built up enough.

Now then, for the main antagonist of the book, King Arveil Eaglus. *crowd cheering noises*

From all I’ve revealed about Thalliance, how they are steeped in tradition, I wanted the King Eaglus to be the most traditional of them all. He believes in the old alliance about how all three nations were one Kingdom. To him, the war is more of a civil war rather than an invasion. He believes he is strengthening the entire kingdom, and he may or may not be right overall. It’s not like there is something beyond Aarhsolm that might invade or something.

Now why did I decide to have him survive? Probably due to not coming up with a situation where having him dead wouldn’t turn the entire island into a warzone. Keep in mind that he is a King with the popular support of the people. The people of Thalliance support uniting all the nations.

And I wanted to show that King Eaglus was smart and had self-control. He’s not about to needlessly throw away his powers. I had him say to know when to give up, and I had him live up to those words. Besides, he could still have some interesting things to do in the future if I want to continue the story of Feast of the End.

Now for the Citacron. I wanted their name to evoke Citadel Knights, like how Templars are Temple Knights and Paladins are Palace Knights. Those definitions may or may not have been made up by me, but that’s the reason for the Citacron. The original group name went through several revisions before I finally set upon the current name. I can’t even remember all of them.

I wanted the Citacron to be an entity rather than individuals, which was why I never referred to them by name even though I did give all of them names. I did base most of their looks on Dark Souls armors. Here is the list of them.

Sharius, one of the knights that accompanies King Eaglus into Anmaul. He is the one that is also a wizard. His sword acts as his staff.

Imers, the other knight that goes into Anmaul. He is the one with the axe and shield.

Horia is the knight with the penants on his back. He is a bit of a preacher and gives inspirational speeches.

Resil is the lone female of the Citacron. I did have a history in which there is always eight members of the Citacron and one of them is always female due to a warrior maid that saved the King many years ago.

Oracon, the tall knight that faced the Anthelia Maiden. I decided to make him the silent type.

Gion is the wild one of the bunch. Out of all the knights, he is the one that likes to fight the most. I have not decided if he is dead or not.

Drael is the one with the sniper and the only one of the Citacron that uses modern weaponry. I wanted guns to remain the most dangerous weapon even in the face of magic and monsters so I made him a hidden sniper type. He may or may not still be alive.

That’s all for the Citacron! I had a lot of fun making up eight of them. See you next time.

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Feast of the End 3, Character Notes 3

It’s time for my character notes on the Shining Sun Order. I suppose I will not include their leader for this post. Instead, the leader will be in the next post with the other members of the high-level Thalliance officials. There will be spoilers in this post, so please read the book first!

To start with, Hethyr, of course. I wanted to convey a sense of uncertainty and resolve with him. His entire mission was pretty much a lie, so the only thing he has left is to focus on serving his nation. I did want to show off his side of emotions. Selaf has pretty much killed several of his closest allies and friends, so he has legitimate gripes and hatred for her.

His relationship with Hallas is more along the lines of respected warriors. In the first book, he tried to convince Hallas to join the Shining Sun Order. When Hallas refused, the two clashed multiple times during the course of the second book.

Why did I keep him alive? I don’t know. I think I didn’t want a total wipeout of the Shining Sun Order.

Next character, Mitus, the wizard and number two of Hethyr. I finally gave him a name. Overall, he is a loyal member of the Shining Sun Order. I made a reason for him to hate Selaf in this book by having her kill his apprentice. Selaf already had a reason to hate him for the thing he did to her.

Speaking of that, Rillias, Mitus’s apprentice, was created for the reason of having a direct rivalry between Selaf and Mitus. I mean, she did drop his charred corpse on the ground for Mitus to find. Also, I wanted to use Rillias to empthasize the stamina of the Feastends in the third book, that’s why I had Rillias’s style of beating opponents a more rope-a-dope strategy.

Raedaryrm already had a built in conflict with Tähti, so that was great. I wanted to show how Tähti fought, so I decreased his original fighting capability to be more of a pure thinker and schemer type. Though if he had survived, he would have joined with the King and betrayed the ideals of the Shining Sun Order. He’s not too loyal to them.

Dolan, well, he was purely there just to give Ooria something to do. Yes, that was planned from the second book. He is loyal to Raedarym, though.

The fights were much shorter originally. After some feedback, I deepened the emotional impact of them considerably. In the original version, it was sort of just bing-bang done. The events played out the same, but there wasn’t as much struggle or feeling to them.

The revised version put a lot more into Selaf’s feeling of the aftermath, what defeating the Shining Sun Order meant to her. More than defeating them, she now feels safe and no longer scared. The same goes for Tähti as well. Hallas was just glad that the Shining Sun Order is done for because he has more pressing problems to worry about.

Next time, high level Thalliance officials and the Citacron!

Feast of the End 3, Character Notes 2

Welcome to part two on my design notes for characters. This post will cover the returning characters of Hallas, Mina, Cal and the new character of Professor Ophrin Cilleth. There will be spoilers, so please go and read the book before these!

Hallas, the actual hero of the story. I’ve mentioned it before, but he’s the one that’s actually trying to do good in the world. For a more standard tale, he would certainly also be the main character.

For the third book, I’ve shifted him into the sort of teaching role for Selaf. He’s the Miletta replacement in that way. Overall, though, most of what’s happening with him is just implied through conversation. Like, Captain Keva, Hallas’s old commanding officer, would be a large character in his plot. Since everything was focused on Selaf, though, Captain Keva gets a one line mention.

I’m not sure if I wanted to do a dual storyline. I mean, the books are long enough as it is. Also I haven’t put that much thought into what Hallas is doing when he’s not around Selaf, just general timeline stuff to make sure things match up. Like in the first book, he spent quite a lot of time just traveling around with the Shining Sun Order in their quest to obtain the ring. For the second book, he goes up againt Hilvan Aruum.

I wonder if Hilvan Aruum would have been a much stronger antagonist if I had gone into more with Hallas facing off against him? That way, the events of Thalliance in book 3 would be even more important. Well, I wasn’t ready to do a dual storyline. But you can fill in the blanks as you like!

As for the ending having Hallas go into the Sorcnon military, that was a departure from my original ending. I’ll talk about the ending in the book and my original ideas in a later post.

Mina or Wilhelmina was actually Selaf’s first friend. Mina still cares about Selaf a lot. I did want to explore how she would interact with Tähti, though, as well as more about her and Cal’s interactions. I wanted to show how a year of fighting the Shining Sun Order made her tougher than the days at Scar Hound while still retaining her kind and caring nature.

In a way, I think she is a lot like Tähti. Mina and Tähti are pretty much the support systems for Hallas and Selaf respectively. I did want to have some differences between them. Overall, Mina is still the nicer and more moral of the two. She is also more open to everyone while Tähti is restricted mainly to Selaf.

It was fun writing with Mina and Selaf again. Even though they only knew each other for less than a month, I wanted to show that they did bond during that time at Scarhound.

As for Cal, I’m not sure if I wrote this already, but he was sort of thrown into the first book. He was originally just some kid that Selaf caught to show how little she cared about others. But as he’s in Scar Hound and Hallas was breaking out, I thought that he definitely should go with them.

Cal starts out supporting the Shining Sun Order but pretty much turns on them once he finds out they are against Sorcnon. What was he doing during the second book? Just up to usual tricks, only much more careful about getting caught.

For the third book, though, I had to think up something for him to do besides his early scene. Even the tagalong kid does something. That’s why I added the scene in the Palace dungeons with him saving the day. Overall, though, I think he adds the point of view of a normal person.

As for the one new character of Ophrin Cilleth, if Hallas had a plot in the second book that would have been when Professor Cilleth is introduced. Basically, Hallas helped him with something, and now he returns the favor. What exactly the situation was, I did not think about. So feel free to make up your own ideas!

Though I only created him to add a sense of realism to the world. I wanted to introduce old history to the story, and language changes over time. So I needed a professor to both translate old language into current language as well as have a good reason for one long exposition piece. Therefore, I needed a historical linguist professor and made the character to match that.

So yeah, Professor Cilleth is purely there for plot convenience. Oh well. Next time I will talk about the Shining Sun Order! Stay tuned.

Feast of the End 3, Character Retrospective

Welcome to the first in a series of design notes about Feast of the End 3: Ancient Mandate. This post will be about Selaf, Tähti, Ooria and Miletta and how their characters changed in the third book. There will be spoilers here, so please go finish the book first!

Now, on to the characters and their finished developments.

Selaf, or should I call her by her real name, Hoku Stairlight? Yes, her last name is supposed to be Stairlight, not Starlight. Imagine if you are standing at the top of the stairs, and a light is above you. The base of the stairs are completely in darkness, however. That is the kind of thing I wanted to evoke with the name, Stairlight.

The first two books were really about Selaf growing as a person. This one is about her accepting that she has a home. Well, she’s accepted it already, and now she’s willing to do things to protect it. I tried to keep her tendencies to just get rid of problems in the simplest way there while also showing that it doesn’t always work.

As for still referring to her by Selaf even though we knew her real name, I’m trying to show that she has more of a connection to being a slave and Sorcnon than her original home. Is it actually mentally healthy for her to do that? I don’t really know.

What I did want to keep was her not being the “hero”. She’s doing things for one reason only, and that is to stop having people bother her. So really, she’s selfish but her end goals don’t hurt anyone.

Tähti, she has a much more subtle change. I think that’s mostly due to me focusing on Selaf’s story that much more. She’s really more of the initiator for change, but she’s grown from someone that goes along with whatever Miletta wanted to and was alright with doing bad things. Now, she will stand up for and fight for what she believes is right.

However, there are still hints that the upbringing in Sorcnon has affected her morality, and that’s something I tried to show. The largest instance is her view on slaves. She, like the rest of the people, don’t care about them. She would never do something to help them. The most she would do is not treat them badly.

I did want to show her a bit more capable of doing things on her own, but still not be the tru fighter type. It’s just not in her nature to do so.

Ooria does pretty much remain the same, I think. I mean, she’s already an adult and before Selaf, lived a pretty normal life. She had normal problems, like paying the bills and stuff. Pretty much Ooria had all of her development into the person she was before meeting Selaf.

I will reveal some things that I did not explicitly spell out in the book, though. First, the way she got her feastend powers was tricking the feastend. Both her and the bonethile that was her dizak was kept locked up in cages and by Shalti and abused. Of course, back then it was more normal BDSM stuff for Ooria and Shalti. But that built up the bonethile’s hatred of him that when the bonethile died, it gave Ooria his power just for the sake of revenge.

Next, Ooria will not be getting together with another guy any time soon. For one, she is still hurting over Shalti. For another, finding someone else with that particular set of interests is not easy. She is happy traveling around performing. The play she is in requires the death of her character, and people say the stabbing part is the most realistic scene they have ever seen.

Now, it is finally time for Miletta Tarea. Hoo, she went through a large change from my original thoughts. Super large spoilers ahead.

In my first idea, she was not the main obstacle at the end. She was supposed to become one of the Council Members instead. But, I think that not all character development will move them into a positive direction. The other reason I made her the antagonist is because the other bad guy had very little personal connection to the main character.

While I think that’s fine, I don’t know if it makes things as intense at the end. Also, the main bad guy hasn’t even really done anything at all before that point. So I wanted an antagonist that would be meaningful for Selaf to face. Miletta became the perfect character to fulfill that role.

Also, her conflict with Council Member Sirts has been planned since the end of the first book. I actually rewrote a bit of the first book to call attention to how Sirts won’t attend meetings with her.

Whew. This came out long. Next time, I’ll talk about Hallas, Mina, Cal and Cilleth (Ophrin)!